Monday, January 15, 2007 @10:51 PM
its a cold melacholic monday.coupled with the emo tune of Straitjacket Feeling by The All American Rejects, wad can be more emo than that? ha.
Rejects, speakin of that, i cant help but think maybe i fall into one of the rejects category. 2 decades of my life, and i dont see any significant achievement in my life. i have nv been a bright student during my school days. can still vividly rmb my pri sch grades sucked so badly that i was treated to the cane by my dad. mathematics was nv my subj i can ace. so was science. i was just like a naive boy,playin catch, hiding from the discipline masters, cajoling the prefects in sch and not forgettin gettin an earful from all the teachers that taught me.
As i grew, sec days and poly werent exactly fantastic. it was ok but not any better. now hopes of entering a local uni is hanging by a thin thread. wads worse man. i must say that my attitude is sth that failed me too. obstinate,stubborn, slow learner, impatient and possessive are just a few to name.
My love department aint exactly a bed of roses as well. its one i ve always failed and nv to succeed, officially. expressive, daring and willing to accept rejection aint me. its the direct opposite. wads wrong with me man. am i ranting all these out just to show my dissatisfaction? or just to blurt everything out in hopin someone will pity me?
i m feelin real low now la. perhaps the sailing came timely.i shld just sail away with the wind.to a place of the unknown. to a place where i can forget all the sorrows and misery in motherland.
perhaps i shld just work hard and carve out a gd career in life.and pray to the above and hope for the best. my life is just like the tunnel in OCS. to reach the end, u gotta work hard, forget about the pain, concentrate on reachin the end, only den will u emerge from that darkness and savour the triumph.
i hate myself. i hate the fact that i aint an eloquent speaker.that i aint have a sweet mouth that can be charming. the fact that i aint expressive or the ability to communicate well. i m all fucked up.
*I just want you to know who i am. i just want you to know that i exist, and you existing in me*
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach